let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
