Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
