youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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