I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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