I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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