this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
