So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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