Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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