puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
