Your tits are I can't wait for
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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