i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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