Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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