You're so nebulous sometimes
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
