Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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