Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I need water and some morals
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
