Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
