before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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