Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
