In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
