so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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