You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
