I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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