If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize