Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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