doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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