My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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