You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
