the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize