if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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