I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
they're like a gay fantastic four
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
