did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
