I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
