my soul wont recognize me after tonight
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
