One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
