I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
