So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize