Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Someone came in the potted fern
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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