well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it glows. i had to have it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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