youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize