it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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