Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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