Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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