you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
