Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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