I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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