Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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