Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
