just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
