I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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