so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
