just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
