marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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