She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
