I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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