pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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