We're facebook friends in real life
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
And then he peed in my hair
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