How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
