I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
