If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
