hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
