Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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