So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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